Dealing with rejection in a relationship

by John Orok

One of the most feared and inevitable outcomes when dating is rejection. This can come in many forms, from being stood up for a date to having a long term partner calling off the relationship. The fact is, if you are going to date then sooner or later you are going to get rejected. What exactly does this mean and what can you do about it?

Don’t blame yourself. Unless you are the one that has done the rejecting you are not the one that has decided that it was over. They have left for their own needs and wants. It is their issue that they cannot be with you anymore, not yours. Do not try to drastically change yourself to suit what they say they want, it won’t work. It’s already over.

Many feelings will start to come up; depression, anger, worry. These are all normal feelings that must not be suppressed. They are there for a reason and have their own part to play in the healing process that comes after the relationship is over. Trying to force yourself to stop feeling these things will end in more pain and confusion later. The key to getting past these feelings is knowing that it is over. It is time to move on. Often the rejection does not give a feeling of complete closure and this can make your progress hard. You must acknowledge the fact that this person does not want to try anymore. Be angry and depressed at this thought, then get over them.

Find something to take your mind off of the sudden change. Take up a hobby or spend your time with family and friends. Be places where you are accepted for who you are and do things that make you feel good about yourself and your abilities. This will help to get over the sudden drop in self confidence that has come with your rejection. Keep in mind that confidence is the most attractive feature and eventually you will be back on the dating scene again.

Do not fall prey to the hate fueled notion of revenge. Many people will joke about rebounds and getting even but this is very unhealthy behavior and will not make you feel any better in the long run. Acting out against every member of the opposite sex is not only unfair to them, it is unfair to you. The next person you lash out against to ease your broken heart could have been the one to help you heal it.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

quintell October 22, 2009 at 10:54 am

i love girls that like wrestling and scary movies like goosebumbs this is quintellmiller and way send at


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